There ain't ain't no tricks to the trade...

Frustration.

Thu, 31 Dec 2009 16:39:58 GMT

I just can't seem to get my shit together.
I have .61 in my bank account and twelve dollars in my wallet.
I'm moving out of the brick because I can't afford the rent.
My cell phone has been disconnected and I've been living on a steady diet of beans and rice for the past two weeks.
Rent is due tomorrow, house bills are due sooner rather than later, and a new semester means figuring out how in the hell I'm going to pay for my books.

I'm sick of people telling me expressing my frustrations and anxiety about being working poor is making them feel guilty about their privilege. I'm not delegitimizing those feelings but GOD DAMNIT don't you think I have enough shit to deal with besides worrying about hurting your fucking feelings?

I don't care that I've "gotten this far" or that I can look for a job to kill myself working another job.
Take your American Dream and shove it.

Inquisition.

Tue, 22 Dec 2009 19:18:25 GMT

My mind has been lost in introspective contemplation for nearly two whole weeks now.
Universe, I might need a break soon.

Tue, 22 Dec 2009 05:45:29 GMT

If you tell me you have to leave
my life will go on just the same.

The Last Generation

Sun, 20 Dec 2009 15:13:11 GMT

REVOLUTIONARY

No faith.

Sat, 19 Dec 2009 22:31:41 GMT

You're the reason I don't ask people for things.

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 14:22:24 GMT

Too too too much last night.
Sometimes I get the better of myself.
Take it easy brain.

Picaflor

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 15:33:56 GMT

Last night I dreamed of a black and orange hummingbird exploding inside of my house.
As it burst into flames, the dream slowed down ten-fold, and I witnessed its extremities and organs float through the air like feathers in the wind.

I've been really bothered by this this morning, yet I'm not sure why. It was quite disturbing.
I haven't even had any coffee yet.

Tarot.

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 14:38:11 GMT

Brantley's mom interpreted my natal chart and my inner child tarot yesterday.
It was such a pleasant experience. Helped me feel grounded in some decisions that I've already made.
I think we're thinking about having a winter solstice event with readings.

Broke.

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 01:58:39 GMT

Despite my regular complaints here, I must say, my life is blessed.

Goodbye RVA.

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 23:43:51 GMT

I'm really sick of this city and a lot of the people here.
I've had a psychological break with it.
I need a new home.
This doesn't feel like it anymore.

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 15:44:07 GMT

Contemplative today.

Good Food Good Friends

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 17:26:01 GMT

I feel my sanity slowly creeping back into my brain.
About time.
Had family dinner on Friday night with a bunch of folks at the old FNB house.
Mock beef stew, potatoes, carrot cake.
Last night had some folks over for the lady's birthday and made a grand meal.
Black Bean and Sweet Potato Tamales, avocado soup, spanish rice, salsa verde, and crema.
Best vegan food of my life.
I need to go into business.

Life's been pleasantly happier since school is winding down.
I have more time for friends.
Friends are good and necessary.
I've also been spending lots of time at Kendel's house.
Mostly because there's warm puppy dogs and a wood stove.
Still looking for a second job, so I can pay my bills.
It'll happen. Trying to fret about it as little as possible since fretting doesn't get me very far anyhow.

Still looking for creative outlets.
I've started working on a zine.
More on that later thought I suppose.
Mostly because I imagine it'll take me a while to compose.

I'm rambling.
Later Gators.

Natal Chart Says...

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 14:22:40 GMT

Let go.
Have faith.

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 18:11:44 GMT

What the fuck is going on inside of my brain?
I just can't seem to talk myself out of being sad all of the time.
The past month has been such a drastic shift in my normal thought process that I just don't know how to deal.
People, I need advice.

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 13:28:01 GMT

King just sent an email THIS MORNING assigning another essay due on Friday
Putting my foot down.
Fuck ten percent.

Small Surprises

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 22:57:43 GMT

I biked to class in the rain.
My professor talked for 5 minutes before sending us all home until it's time for our exam.
I biked home in the rain.

At home, Alison introduced me to this fifty one year old radical.
I listened to him tell stories for the next hour and a half.

It's nice to see people keep their rad politics with their age.
It was a good reminder.

Sixty Pages Later

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 19:43:48 GMT

I finally finished those two god damned papers.
I didn't even finish the second one, but after thirty pages I decided I'd take a C if need be.
Dr. King can shove it.

Sun, 29 Nov 2009 15:02:33 GMT

I finally finished one of those papers.
It ended up being around 40 pages.
Shoot me in the face.
Walkin' gypsy then starting on the next one.

A Steady Diet of Nothing

Sun, 29 Nov 2009 02:03:54 GMT

Seven-day fast starts tomorrow.

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 19:44:13 GMT

why am I so bad at this thing called life?

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 03:18:41 GMT

I'm having anxiety cramps in my stomach.
Someone make it stop.
I hate nights like this.

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 03:09:57 GMT

I just want to be asleep so horribly right now.

La familia.

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 02:31:20 GMT

My family is ridiculous and absurd.

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 11:23:27 GMT

Goin' to the mountains for Thanksgiving.
I'm nervous, annoyed, and anxious.
I do not want to see my family.
I do not want to go.

you'd think i was in graduate school or something

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 01:12:14 GMT

40 pages of intense critical analysis due by 4pm tomorrow. go!